{"id":865,"date":"2014-12-25T01:15:00","date_gmt":"2014-12-24T23:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=865"},"modified":"2014-12-25T01:15:00","modified_gmt":"2014-12-24T23:15:00","slug":"installation-disk-blues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=865","title":{"rendered":"Installation Disk Blues"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Customer: &#8220;I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won&#8217;t work.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;Your A drive won&#8217;t work?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Customer: &#8220;That&#8217;s what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won&#8217;t work at all.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Customer: &#8220;I didn&#8217;t get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn&#8217;t come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn&#8217;t work either.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;You did what sir?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Customer: &#8220;I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn&#8217;t budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;I don&#8217;t understand sir, did you push the eject button?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Customer: &#8220;No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. I can&#8217;t believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Customer: &#8220;I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Silence<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;Sir?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Customer: &#8220;Yes.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;Sir, did you push the eject button?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Customer: &#8220;No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn&#8217;t follow the instructions we sent you, didn&#8217;t actually seek professional advice, didn&#8217;t consult your user&#8217;s manual on how to use your computer properly,  instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Customer: &#8220;Ummmm.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Customer: (now rather humbled) &#8220;But you&#8217;re supposed to help!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tech Support: &#8220;I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Customer: &#8220;I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won&#8217;t work.&#8221; Tech Support: &#8220;Your A drive won&#8217;t work?&#8221; Customer: &#8220;That&#8217;s what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won&#8217;t work at all.&#8221; Tech Support: &#8220;Did it not install [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[406,480,1408],"class_list":["post-865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-computer","tag-dau","tag-technical-support"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=865"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}