{"id":859,"date":"2014-12-25T01:10:25","date_gmt":"2014-12-24T23:10:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=859"},"modified":"2014-12-25T01:10:25","modified_gmt":"2014-12-24T23:10:25","slug":"idiots-guide-to-windows-operating-systems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=859","title":{"rendered":"Idiot&#8217;s Guide to Windows Operating Systems"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>Multitasking<br \/>\nYou can crash several programs all at once.  No waiting!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Built-in Networking<br \/>\nYou can crash several PC&#8217;s all at once.  No need to buy Novell Personal Netware or LANtastic to crash.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Microsoft Network<br \/>\nConnect with other Windows users and talk about your crash experiences. Support groups in different cities will be organized.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>PnP<br \/>\nPlug and Pray (that it works)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Multimedia<br \/>\nExperience the immense sight and sound of crashing. Compatible with existing software It will also crash your existing software.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Increased Productivity<br \/>\nYou will need to *increase* your budget to buy more *products* like RAM and Hard Drives.  Better yet, get a new computer! That&#8217;s productivity.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>User-Friendly<br \/>\nPicture of clouds<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>State of the Art<br \/>\nPay for Bill&#8217;s next bid for a work of art.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Macintosh-like<br \/>\nIt took Microsoft eleven years and it&#8217;s not even original.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Online Registration<br \/>\nDial into Microsoft and let them snoop around your hard drive. This will guarantee you a place in Microsoft&#8217;s files for the rest of your life.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>MS Plus<br \/>\nMore money for Bill&#8217;s plus side.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Optimize<br \/>\nIt will increase the utilization of your hard drive and CPU so much so that you&#8217;ll end up upgrading your system.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Multitasking You can crash several programs all at once. No waiting! Built-in Networking You can crash several PC&#8217;s all at once. No need to buy Novell Personal Netware or LANtastic to crash. Microsoft Network Connect with other Windows users and talk about your crash experiences. Support groups in different cities will be organized. PnP Plug [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[406,480,749,924],"class_list":["post-859","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-computer","tag-dau","tag-guide","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/859","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=859"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/859\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=859"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=859"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=859"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}