{"id":853,"date":"2014-12-25T01:05:19","date_gmt":"2014-12-24T23:05:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=853"},"modified":"2014-12-25T01:05:19","modified_gmt":"2014-12-24T23:05:19","slug":"how-to-get-a-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=853","title":{"rendered":"How to Get a Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s never easy to overcome innate nerdity, a serious Internet addiction, or a hard-core computer gaming habit, but trying usually isn&#8217;t as painful as kidney stones.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">Difficulty Level: Hard<br \/>\nTime Required: Years<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s How:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Let go of the mouse.<\/li>\n<li>Turn off the computer.<\/li>\n<li>Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards.<\/li>\n<li>Eat something other than taco chips.<\/li>\n<li>Fart without recording it and putting it up your Web page.<\/li>\n<li>Get some sleep in bed rather than on your keyboard.<\/li>\n<li>Next time you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, don&#8217;t tell everyone on your ICQ list about it.<\/li>\n<li>Open a window without turning your computer back on (yes, it is possible).<\/li>\n<li>Very gradually expose your eyes to increasingly bright light so as to avoid damage or permanent sun blindness.<\/li>\n<li>When you feel prepared for a massive dose of non-CRT radiation, put on welding goggles and go outside.<\/li>\n<li>If you see someone, say &#8220;Hi&#8221; to them instead of poking them.<\/li>\n<li>Visit a friend that you haven&#8217;t spoken to in years because they don&#8217;t have an email address.<\/li>\n<li>Have &#8220;.com&#8221; officially removed from behind your name.<\/li>\n<li>Go on a date with someone you didn&#8217;t meet in a chat room.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s never easy to overcome innate nerdity, a serious Internet addiction, or a hard-core computer gaming habit, but trying usually isn&#8217;t as painful as kidney stones. Difficulty Level: Hard Time Required: Years Here&#8217;s How: Let go of the mouse. Turn off the computer. Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards. Eat [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[103,406,698],"class_list":["post-853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-addict","tag-computer","tag-geek"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/853","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=853"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/853\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}