{"id":851,"date":"2014-12-25T01:04:23","date_gmt":"2014-12-24T23:04:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=851"},"modified":"2014-12-25T01:04:23","modified_gmt":"2014-12-24T23:04:23","slug":"you-know-youre-hooked-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=851","title":{"rendered":"You Know You&#8217;re Hooked When&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Your wife wants a diamond for her birthday, and you get her a Diamond Stealth Video Card.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re in bed, making it, and it reminds you of how it must feel to be a floppy disk going into your new drive.<\/li>\n<li>You know what PPP, SLIP, HTML and FTP mean&#8230;but damned if you can remember your wife&#8217;s maiden name or your wedding anniversary. Don&#8217;t even talk about the kids&#8217; names!<\/li>\n<li>You sit in front of the TV&#8230;trying to type at a keyboard.<\/li>\n<li>You &#8220;right click&#8221;&#8230;.on your wife&#8217;s nipples.<\/li>\n<li>The &#8220;cute name&#8221; for your member has changed to &#8220;Joystick&#8221;&#8230;.and you hold it the same way.<\/li>\n<li>You find out that Hemorrhoids aren&#8217;t THAT painful, as long as you&#8217;re on the &#8216;Net.<\/li>\n<li>When someone yells out &#8220;What&#8217;s for supper?&#8221; you do a search for SUPPER.COM.<\/li>\n<li>Whenever your wife mentions &#8220;protection&#8221;, you remind yourself that you gotta get a keyboard protector.<\/li>\n<li>You suspect there&#8217;s a virus in your mashed potatoes.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your wife wants a diamond for her birthday, and you get her a Diamond Stealth Video Card. You&#8217;re in bed, making it, and it reminds you of how it must feel to be a floppy disk going into your new drive. You know what PPP, SLIP, HTML and FTP mean&#8230;but damned if you can remember [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[103,406,924],"class_list":["post-851","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-addict","tag-computer","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/851","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=851"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/851\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=851"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=851"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=851"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}