{"id":847,"date":"2014-12-25T01:01:58","date_gmt":"2014-12-24T23:01:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=847"},"modified":"2014-12-25T01:01:58","modified_gmt":"2014-12-24T23:01:58","slug":"home-on-the-web","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=847","title":{"rendered":"Home On The Web"},"content":{"rendered":"<div align=\"center\">(to the tune of &#8220;Home on the Range&#8221;)<br \/>\nLyrics by Peggy Ben-Fay Hu<\/div>\n<p>Oh give me a site,<br \/>\nWhere the links all work right,<br \/>\nOne that doesn&#8217;t take too long to load.<br \/>\nWhere the text can be seen,<br \/>\nOn my 13-inch screen,<br \/>\nOne that offers a &#8220;no-Java&#8221; mode.<\/p>\n<p>Home, home on the Web<br \/>\non my 486 IBM.<br \/>\nPlease take pity on me,<br \/>\nI&#8217;m still on Netscape 3,<br \/>\nwith a 14.4-speed modem!<\/p>\n<p>Though your video files<br \/>\nGive your pages some style<br \/>\nI can&#8217;t read them upon my PC;<br \/>\nMassive graphics and sound<br \/>\nCrash my system, I&#8217;ve found,<br \/>\nSo please put in some &#8220;alt&#8221; tags for me!<\/p>\n<p>Home, home on the Web<br \/>\non my 486 IBM.<br \/>\nPlease take pity on me,<br \/>\nI&#8217;m still on Netscape 3,<br \/>\nwith a 14.4-speed modem!<\/p>\n<p>Please don&#8217;t ask me to &#8220;chat&#8221;<br \/>\nWith your favorite cat;<br \/>\nI don&#8217;t have an IRC code.<br \/>\nAnd don&#8217;t ask me to buy<br \/>\nGames for Win 95.<br \/>\nMy PC is way too darn old!<\/p>\n<p>Home, home on the Web<br \/>\non my 486 IBM.<br \/>\nPlease take pity on me,<br \/>\nI&#8217;m still on Netscape 3,<br \/>\nwith a 14.4-speed modem!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(to the tune of &#8220;Home on the Range&#8221;) Lyrics by Peggy Ben-Fay Hu Oh give me a site, Where the links all work right, One that doesn&#8217;t take too long to load. Where the text can be seen, On my 13-inch screen, One that offers a &#8220;no-Java&#8221; mode. Home, home on the Web on my [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[414,849,1337,1546],"class_list":["post-847","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-computers","tag-internet","tag-song","tag-worldwide-web"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/847","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=847"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/847\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=847"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=847"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=847"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}