{"id":843,"date":"2014-12-25T00:56:14","date_gmt":"2014-12-24T22:56:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=843"},"modified":"2014-12-25T00:56:14","modified_gmt":"2014-12-24T22:56:14","slug":"you-know-youre-a-high-tech-worker-if","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=843","title":{"rendered":"You Know You&#8217;re a High Tech Worker If&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.<\/li>\n<li>Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.<\/li>\n<li>Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.<\/li>\n<li>Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.<\/li>\n<li>When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.<\/li>\n<li>You learn about your layoff on CNN.<\/li>\n<li>Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.<\/li>\n<li>Your supervisor hasn&#8217;t the ability to do your job assignment.<\/li>\n<li>You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.<\/li>\n<p><li>Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the<br \/>\nThird World countries&#8217; annual budgets combined.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>Your home phone has none of the features you developed cuz you&#8217;re never there.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s dark when you drive to and from work.<\/li>\n<li>Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.<\/li>\n<li>Communication is something your group is having problems with.<\/li>\n<li>You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.<\/li>\n<li>A tie is hanging in your cube.<\/li>\n<li>Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.<\/li>\n<li>Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.<\/li>\n<li>Being sick is defined as can&#8217;t walk or you&#8217;re in the hospital.<\/li>\n<li>You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say &#8220;Oh wow, thanks!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>All real work gets started after 5pm or on weekends.<\/li>\n<li>Everyone fights fires (i.e. problems).<\/li>\n<li>Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.<\/li>\n<li>Plants in your cube are healthier than your plants at home.<\/li>\n<li>Your boss&#8217; favorite lines are &#8220;when you get a few minutes,&#8221; &#8220;in your spare time,&#8221; &#8220;when you&#8217;re freed up,&#8221; and &#8220;I have an opportunity for you.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>10% of the people you work with &#8212; no one (boss included) knows what they do.<\/li>\n<li>Vacation is something you rollover to next year or a check you get every January.<\/li>\n<li>Your relatives and family describe your job as &#8220;works with computers&#8221; or &#8220;does something with telephones.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Change is the norm.<\/li>\n<li>Nepotism is encouraged.<\/li>\n<li>You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.<\/li>\n<li>You read this entire list and understood it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um. When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie. You [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[414,786,924],"class_list":["post-843","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-computers","tag-high-tech","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/843","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=843"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/843\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=843"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=843"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=843"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}