{"id":79,"date":"2014-12-21T12:25:07","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T12:25:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=79"},"modified":"2014-12-21T12:25:07","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T12:25:07","slug":"all-i-need-to-know-about-life-i-learned-by-watching-dr-who","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=79","title":{"rendered":"All I Need to Know About Life I Learned by Watching Dr. Who"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Don&#8217;t be afraid to dress conspicuously<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;There&#8217;s no point in being grown up if you can&#8217;t be childish sometimes&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Be polite to strangers &#8211; offer them a jelly baby<\/li>\n<li>Face bureaucracy with sarcasm<\/li>\n<li>Bad guys always wear black<\/li>\n<li>Almost any problem can be solved by reversing the polarity of the neutron flow<\/li>\n<li>Never trust anyone with a sinister beard and a high collar<\/li>\n<li>When in doubt, bang the console<\/li>\n<li>Nearly anyone will fall for the really big lie at some point<\/li>\n<li>If it glows, avoid it<\/li>\n<li>The gravel quarries are not what they seem<\/li>\n<li>Bad guys will not see you if you stand really close to the wall, even if they walk right past you<\/li>\n<li>All the aliens speak with British accents<\/li>\n<li>All alien planets have corridors somewhere<\/li>\n<li>There&#8217;s nothing the sonic screwdriver can&#8217;t handle (apart from a voice activated lock)<\/li>\n<li>Every alien planet has open cast mining<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;When I say run, RUN!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Everyone remotely interesting is mad in one way or another&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Somewhere else the Tea&#8217;s getting cold&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>The worst won&#8217;t happen if you do something immensely clever<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Humans have an amazing capacity for self-deception&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>If you&#8217;re so clever, follow me up the stairs<\/li>\n<li>Your best weapons are your mind, your scarf, and your brolly (British slang for umbrella)<\/li>\n<li>Blowing up earth will not solve your own impotence<\/li>\n<li>You never know what you&#8217;re going to get<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I am the master, you will obey me&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Life is hard, then you regenerate<\/li>\n<li>However bad it may be, it&#8217;ll all blow up in the last scene<\/li>\n<li>Companions may come and go, but your K9 is forever<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I&#8217;m HAPPY!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;First things first &#8211; but not necessarily in that order&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Don&#8217;t be afraid to dress conspicuously &#8220;There&#8217;s no point in being grown up if you can&#8217;t be childish sometimes&#8221; Be polite to strangers &#8211; offer them a jelly baby Face bureaucracy with sarcasm Bad guys always wear black Almost any problem can be solved by reversing the polarity of the neutron flow Never trust anyone [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[128,280,538,924,1293],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-i-need","tag-all-i-need","tag-british","tag-dr-who","tag-lists","tag-science-fiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}