{"id":738,"date":"2014-12-24T20:01:17","date_gmt":"2014-12-24T18:01:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=738"},"modified":"2014-12-24T20:01:17","modified_gmt":"2014-12-24T18:01:17","slug":"overheard-at-the-las-vegas-computer-convention","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=738","title":{"rendered":"Overheard at the Las Vegas Computer Convention"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Oh, come on &#8212; Kirk can beat up Picard any day of the week!&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Empty the trash cans, someone&#8217;s lost another retainer!&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, Mr. Gates &#8212; this is a $10 minimum table, the $5 minimum tables are over there.&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;No, sir, we can&#8217;t accept Apple stock to cover your gambling debts.&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Just shut up and give me the trinkets, booth weasel!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Free Pocket Protectors at Booth 283! Pass it on!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Hey, if we all share a limo ride back to the hotel, we can split that dollar tip nine ways.&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Well, the Chicken Ranch was okay &#8211; but I liked &#8216;Virtual Monique&#8217; better.&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;&#8230;so Dilbert says to Wally&#8230;&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;My dad said if I hacked the Federal Reserve one more time, he&#8217;d take away my Nintendo.&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;&#8230;so I said, &#8216;That&#8217;s no hexadecimal assembly code, that&#8217;s my self-modifying subroutine.&#8217; But seriously, folks&#8230;&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I don&#8217;t care if you ARE a CEO, nobody gets in under 21.&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Marc Andreeson to the courtesy desk &#8212; Your mother wants to know what time you&#8217;ll be home for dinner&#8230;&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;They call this a breakfast buffet? Where&#8217;s the Jolt Cola and Doritos?&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Hey &#8212; where are all the chicks??&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Oh, come on &#8212; Kirk can beat up Picard any day of the week!&#8221; &#8220;Empty the trash cans, someone&#8217;s lost another retainer!&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, Mr. Gates &#8212; this is a $10 minimum table, the $5 minimum tables are over there.&#8221; &#8220;No, sir, we can&#8217;t accept Apple stock to cover your gambling debts.&#8221; &#8220;Just shut up [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[406,434],"class_list":["post-738","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-computer","tag-convention"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/738","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=738"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/738\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=738"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=738"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=738"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}