{"id":719,"date":"2014-12-23T22:51:05","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T20:51:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=719"},"modified":"2014-12-23T22:51:05","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T20:51:05","slug":"how-to-build-a-web-page-in-25-steps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=719","title":{"rendered":"How to Build a Web Page in 25 Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n
  1. Download a piece of Web authoring software ~ 20 minutes.<\/li>\n
  2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page ~ 6 weeks.<\/li>\n
  3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it ~ 20 minutes.<\/li>\n
  4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site ~ 1 minute.<\/li>\n
  5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like ~ 4 days.<\/li>\n
  6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again ~ 25 minutes.<\/li>\n
  7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do ~ 15 minutes.<\/li>\n
  8. View the source of others’ pages, steal some, change a few words here and there ~ 4 hours.<\/li>\n
  9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software ~ 1 minute.<\/li>\n
  10. Try to horizontally line up two related images ~ 6 hours.<\/li>\n
  11. Remove one of the images ~ 10 seconds.<\/li>\n
  12. Set the text’s font color to the same color as your background, wonder why all your text is gone ~ 4 hours.<\/li>\n
  13. Download a counter from your ISP ~ 4 minutes.<\/li>\n
  14. Try to figure out why your counter reads “You are visitor number 16.3 E10” ~ 3 hours.<\/li>\n
  15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text ~ 8 hours.<\/li>\n
  16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page on your ISP ~ 40 minutes.<\/li>\n
  17. Accidentally delete your complete web page ~ 1 second.<\/li>\n
  18. Recreate your web page ~ 2 days.<\/li>\n
  19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your ISP’s server ~ 3 weeks.<\/li>\n
  20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP ~ 30 minutes.<\/li>\n
  21. Download FTP software ~ 10 minutes.<\/li>\n
  22. Call your friend again ~ 15 minutes.<\/li>\n
  23. Upload your web page to your ISP’s server ~ 10 minutes.<\/li>\n
  24. Connect to your site on the web ~ 1 minute.<\/li>\n
  25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps ~ eternity.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Download a piece of Web authoring software ~ 20 minutes. Think about what you want to write on your Web page ~ 6 weeks. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it ~ 20 minutes. Decide to just steal some images […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[406,849,1510],"class_list":["post-719","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-computer","tag-internet","tag-web-page"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/719","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=719"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/719\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=719"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=719"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=719"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}