Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX.<\/p>\n
Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Yes, that’s correct.<\/p>\n
Costello: No, what is it?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Yes.<\/p>\n
Costello: So, which is the one?<\/p>\n
Abbott: No. ‘which’ is used to find the program.<\/p>\n
Costello: Stop this. Who are you?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Use ‘who am i’ not ‘who r yoo’. You can also ‘finger yoo’ to get information about yoo’.<\/p>\n
Costello: All I want to know is what finds the revision code?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Use ‘what’.<\/p>\n
Costello: That’s what I am trying to find out. Isn’t that true?<\/p>\n
Abbott: No. ‘true’ gives you 0.<\/p>\n
Costello: Which one?<\/p>\n
Abbott: ‘true’ gives you 0. ‘which is program name’<\/p>\n
Costello: Let’s get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Type ‘find \/ -name it -print’ to find ‘it’. Type ‘what program’ to get the revision code.<\/p>\n
Costello: I want to find the revision code.<\/p>\n
Abbott: You can’t ‘find revision code’, you must use ‘what program’.<\/p>\n
Costello: Which command will do what I need?<\/p>\n
Abbott: No. ‘which command’ will find ‘command’.<\/p>\n
Costello: I think I understand. Let me write that.<\/p>\n
Abbott: You can ‘write that’ only if ‘that’ is a user on your system.<\/p>\n
Costello: Write what?<\/p>\n
Abbott: No. ‘write that’. ‘what program’.<\/p>\n
Costello: Cut that out!<\/p>\n
Abbott: Yes. those are valid files for ‘cut’. Don’t forget the options.<\/p>\n
Costello: Do you always do this?<\/p>\n
Abbott: ‘du’ will give you disk usage.<\/p>\n
Costello: HELP!<\/p>\n
Abbott: ‘help’ is only used for Source Code Control System (SCCS).<\/p>\n
Costello: You make me angry.<\/p>\n
Abbott: No, I don’t ‘make me’ angry but I did ‘make program name’ when I was upset once.<\/p>\n
Costello: I don’t want to make trouble, so no more.<\/p>\n
Abbott: No ‘more’? ‘which’ will help you find ‘more’. Every system has ‘more’.<\/p>\n
Costello: Nice help! I’m confused more now!<\/p>\n
Abbott: Understand that since ‘help’ is such a small program, it is better not to ‘nice help’ and ‘more now’ is not allowed, but ‘at now’ is. Unless of course ‘now’ is a file name.<\/p>\n
Costello: This is almost as confusing as my PC.<\/p>\n
Abbott: I didn’t know you needed help with ‘pc’. Let me get you to the Pascal compiler team.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX. Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program? Abbott: Yes, that’s correct. Costello: No, what is it? Abbott: Yes. Costello: So, which is the one? Abbott: No. ‘which’ is used to find the program. Costello: Stop this. Who are you? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[94,406,1480],"class_list":["post-696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-abbott-and-costello","tag-computer","tag-unix"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=696"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/696\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}