{"id":694,"date":"2014-12-23T21:35:39","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T19:35:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=694"},"modified":"2014-12-23T21:35:39","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T19:35:39","slug":"1776-if-they-had-computers-back-then","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=694","title":{"rendered":"If They Had Computers in 1776&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen, the summer grows hot, and it is essential that we complete this declaration of independence.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Franklin: Wait a minute, Thomas. I have to reboot here.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Jefferson: That&#8217;s all right, Ben. We&#8217;ll go on without you. Has everyone had a chance to look at the draft I posted yesterday?<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Sherman: Not yet, Thomas, I&#8217;ve been having Notes replication problems.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Adams: Here, Roger, I brought a hard copy<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Sherman: Thanks, Saaaaay, nice font.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Adams: Do you like it? I downloaded it off Colonies Online just last week.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen! There is work to be done. I fear our document will soon leak out.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Livingston: Too late, Thomas. There&#8217;s already a bootleg circulating. I saw it posted on alt.georgeIII.sucks last night.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Franklin: @#$$%^$# General Protection Fault!<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Adams: Ben, you might try upgrading to Windows 75. It solved that problem for me.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Sherman: Thomas, the part here about the Acts of Pretended Legislation; have you considered using bullets to air out the text?<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Jefferson: I can fix that easily enough. Drat! I&#8217;ve spilled candle wax on my keyboard again.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Adams: You know, Thomas, that wouldn&#8217;t happen if you&#8217;d buy an active-matrix screen.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Franklin: Hard-disk failure?!? Aw, criminy<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Livingston: Are you sure it&#8217;s &#8220;unalienable rights&#8221;? My spell checker recommends &#8220;unassailable&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Jefferson: Can we stick to the substance of the document, please? Shoot. Low battery. Anyone got a spare power cable?<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Sherman: What have you got, a Toshiba? No, mine isn&#8217;t compatible.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Franklin: Hello, PCs Philadelphia? What does it mean when the CD drive buzzes? OK, I&#8217;ll hold&#8230;..<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Livingston: The &#8220;In Congress&#8221; part here at the top; have you thought about blowing that up really big and maybe centering it in 72 point Helvetica?<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Jefferson: Not a bad idea. Aw, nuts! Word macro virus! I can&#8217;t save the file.<\/li>\n<li>Mr. Franklin: That&#8217;s all right, Thomas. We can manage. Here, borrow my quill pen&#8230;.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen, the summer grows hot, and it is essential that we complete this declaration of independence. Mr. Franklin: Wait a minute, Thomas. I have to reboot here. Mr. Jefferson: That&#8217;s all right, Ben. We&#8217;ll go on without you. Has everyone had a chance to look at the draft I posted yesterday? Mr. Sherman: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[406,488,1130],"class_list":["post-694","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-computer","tag-declaration-of-independence","tag-parody"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/694","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=694"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/694\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=694"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=694"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=694"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}