{"id":685,"date":"2014-12-23T17:57:05","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T15:57:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=685"},"modified":"2014-12-23T17:57:05","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T15:57:05","slug":"you-might-be-in-education-if","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=685","title":{"rendered":"You Might Be In Education If&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.<\/li>\n<li>You find humor in other people&#8217;s stupidity.<\/li>\n<li>You want to slap the next person who says, &#8220;Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers free!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You believe chocolate is a food group.<\/li>\n<li>You can tell it&#8217;s a full moon without ever looking outside.<\/li>\n<li>You believe &#8220;shallow gene pool&#8221; should have its own box on the report card.<\/li>\n<li>You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, &#8220;Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>When out in public you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.<\/li>\n<li>You have no time for a life between August to June.<\/li>\n<li>Marking all A&#8217;s on report cards would make your life SO much simpler.<\/li>\n<li>When you mention &#8220;vegetables&#8221; you&#8217;re not talking about a food group.<\/li>\n<p><li>You think people should be able to get a government permit before being<br \/>\nallowed to reproduce.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.<\/li>\n<li>You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the lounge.<\/li>\n<li>You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.<\/li>\n<p><li>You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home<br \/>\nschooling.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary school setting for at least 5 years.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve had your profession slammed by someone who would never DREAM of doing your job.<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t have children because there&#8217;s no name you could give a child that wouldn&#8217;t bring on high blood pressure the moment you uttered it.<\/li>\n<li>You think caffeine should be available to staff in IV form.<\/li>\n<li>You know you&#8217;re in for a MAJOR project when a parent says, &#8220;I have a great idea I&#8217;d like to discuss.  I think it would be such fun!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You smile weakly, but want to choke a person when they say, &#8220;Oh, you must have such fun everyday. It must be like playtime for you.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Your personal life comes to a screeching halt at report card time.<\/li>\n<li>Meeting a child&#8217;s parents instantly answers the question, &#8220;Why is this child like this?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick. You find humor in other people&#8217;s stupidity. You want to slap the next person who says, &#8220;Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers free!&#8221; You believe chocolate is a food group. You can tell it&#8217;s a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[1289,1406],"class_list":["post-685","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-collegeschool","tag-school","tag-teacher"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=685"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=685"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=685"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=685"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}