{"id":67,"date":"2014-12-21T11:42:03","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T11:42:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=67"},"modified":"2014-12-21T11:42:03","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T11:42:03","slug":"all-i-need-to-know-about-birthdays-i-learned-from-my-cat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=67","title":{"rendered":"All I Need to Know About Birthdays I Learned from My Cat!"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Be finicky &#8211; they&#8217;ll try harder to please you.<\/li>\n<li>Give attitude &#8211; get attention.<\/li>\n<li>If you don&#8217;t like your presents, SULK.<\/li>\n<li>If you get bored at your party &#8211; just curl up for a nap.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t stress out over your first grey whisker.<\/li>\n<li>Act completely unimpressed by the presents you receive.<\/li>\n<li>Remember, this is your day, so if anyone bugs you, you&#8217;re allowed to hiss and spit.<\/li>\n<li>Take the day off and lie in the sun.<\/li>\n<li>Stay out on the prowl all night long.<\/li>\n<li>Demand only the most expensive fresh fish for dinner.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s a good day to shed your inhibitions.<\/li>\n<li>Act catty &#8211; toy with your presents before you tear them open.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t overdo it with the catnip or you&#8217;ll regret it in the morning.<\/li>\n<li>If you aren&#8217;t getting enough attention, sharpen your claws on somebody&#8217;s leg.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t let anything or anyone PUT YOU OUT!<\/li>\n<li>And remember&#8230;curiosity might kill you, but birthdays won&#8217;t!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Be finicky &#8211; they&#8217;ll try harder to please you. Give attitude &#8211; get attention. If you don&#8217;t like your presents, SULK. If you get bored at your party &#8211; just curl up for a nap. Don&#8217;t stress out over your first grey whisker. Act completely unimpressed by the presents you receive. Remember, this is your [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[128,244,322,924],"class_list":["post-67","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-i-need","tag-all-i-need","tag-birthday","tag-cat","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=67"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=67"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=67"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=67"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}