{"id":668,"date":"2014-12-23T17:02:26","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T15:02:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=668"},"modified":"2014-12-23T17:02:26","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T15:02:26","slug":"report-card-comments-teachers-would-love-to-use","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=668","title":{"rendered":"Report Card Comments Teachers Would Love to Use"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.<\/li>\n<li>I would not allow this student to breed.<\/li>\n<li>This student has delusions of adequacy.<\/li>\n<li>This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.<\/li>\n<li>This student sets low standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.<\/li>\n<li>The student has a &#8220;full six-pack&#8221; but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.<\/li>\n<li>Student has been working with glue too much.<\/li>\n<li>When the student&#8217;s IQ reaches 50, he\/she should sell.<\/li>\n<li>Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn&#8217;t coming.<\/li>\n<li>If this student were any more stupid, he&#8217;d have to be watered twice a week.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s hard to believe the sperm that created this student beat out 1,000,000 others.<\/li>\n<li>The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.<\/li>\n<li>Your child is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.<\/li>\n<li>If your child had two brain cells, they&#8217;d kill each other.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. I would not allow this student to breed. This student has delusions of adequacy. This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. This student sets low standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. The student has a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[1255,1406],"class_list":["post-668","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-collegeschool","tag-report-card","tag-teacher"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/668","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=668"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/668\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=668"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=668"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=668"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}