{"id":662,"date":"2014-12-23T16:58:40","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T14:58:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=662"},"modified":"2014-12-23T16:58:40","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T14:58:40","slug":"politically-correct-school","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=662","title":{"rendered":"Politically Correct School"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>No one fails a class anymore, they are merely &#8220;passing impaired&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>You don&#8217;t have detention, you&#8217;re just one of the &#8220;exit delayed&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>Your bedroom isn&#8217;t cluttered, it&#8217;s just &#8220;passage restrictive&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>These days, a student isn&#8217;t lazy. He&#8217;s &#8220;energetically declined&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>Your locker isn&#8217;t overflowing with junk, it&#8217;s just &#8220;closure prohibitive&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>Kids don&#8217;t get grounded anymore. They merely hit &#8220;social speed bumps&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>Your homework isn&#8217;t missing, its just having an &#8220;out-of-notebook experience&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re not sleeping in class, you&#8217;re &#8220;rationing consciousness&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re not late, you just have a &#8220;rescheduled arrival time&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re not having a bad hair day, you&#8217;re suffering from &#8220;rebellious follicle syndrome&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>You don&#8217;t have smelly gym socks, you have &#8220;odor-retentive athletic footwear&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>No one&#8217;s tall anymore. They are &#8220;vertically enhanced&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re not shy. You&#8217;re &#8220;conversationally selective&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You don&#8217;t talk a lot. You&#8217;re just &#8220;abundantly verbal&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>You weren&#8217;t passing notes in class. You were &#8220;participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re not being sent to the principals office. You&#8217;re &#8220;going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s not called gossip anymore. It&#8217;s &#8220;the speedy transmission of near-factual information&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>The food at the school cafeteria isn&#8217;t awful. It&#8217;s &#8220;digestively challenged&#8221;.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>No one fails a class anymore, they are merely &#8220;passing impaired&#8221;. You don&#8217;t have detention, you&#8217;re just one of the &#8220;exit delayed&#8221;. Your bedroom isn&#8217;t cluttered, it&#8217;s just &#8220;passage restrictive&#8221;. These days, a student isn&#8217;t lazy. He&#8217;s &#8220;energetically declined&#8221;. Your locker isn&#8217;t overflowing with junk, it&#8217;s just &#8220;closure prohibitive&#8221;. Kids don&#8217;t get grounded anymore. They [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[1178,1289],"class_list":["post-662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-collegeschool","tag-politically-correct","tag-school"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/662","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=662"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/662\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}