{"id":660,"date":"2014-12-23T16:57:27","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T14:57:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=660"},"modified":"2014-12-23T16:57:27","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T14:57:27","slug":"no-excuses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=660","title":{"rendered":"No Excuses"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow&#8217;s final exam. <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Now class, I won&#8217;t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family &#8211; but that&#8217;s it, no other excuses whatsoever!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, &#8220;What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, &#8220;Well, I guess you&#8217;d have to write the exam with your other hand.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow&#8217;s final exam. &#8220;Now class, I won&#8217;t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family &#8211; but that&#8217;s it, no other excuses whatsoever!&#8221; A smart-ass [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[590,610,645,785],"class_list":["post-660","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-collegeschool","tag-english","tag-excuse","tag-final-exams","tag-high-school"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/660","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=660"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/660\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=660"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=660"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=660"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}