{"id":636,"date":"2014-12-23T15:21:24","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T13:21:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=636"},"modified":"2014-12-23T15:21:24","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T13:21:24","slug":"gramesis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=636","title":{"rendered":"Gramesis"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>In the beginning my English teacher created nouns and verbs.<\/li>\n<li>And the verbs were without form and voice; and darkness was upon the face of the deep&#8211;my teacher.<\/li>\n<li>And she said, &#8220;Let there be grammar;&#8221; and there was grammar.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher saw the verbs and laughed and said that it was good; and she divided the bright students from those who remained in darkness.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher gave the bright students A&#8217;s and kept the others after school. And the homework and the bell were the first day.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher said, &#8220;Let there be a sentence in the midst of the words, and let it divide the nouns from the verbs.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher made the sentence, and diagrammed it on the board; I looked and saw that it was so.<\/li>\n<li>And the Teacher called the sentence declarative.  And the capital and the period were the second day.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher said, &#8220;Let the noun words in the sentence be gathered together unto one place, and let the verb words appear; and it was so.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher called the verb words predicate; and the gathering together of noun words called she the subject; and Teacher saw that it was good.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher said, &#8220;Let the predicate bring forth modifiers, the transitive verbs yielding objects, and the intransitive verbs yielding complements after their own kind, whose place is in itself, within the predicate;&#8221; and it was so.<\/li>\n<li>And the predicate brought forth modifiers, and transitive verbs yielding objects after their own kind, and intransitive verbs yielding a complement whose place was in itself, after their own kind: The Teacher saw that it was good and confusing.<\/li>\n<li>And the active and the passive were the third day.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher said, &#8220;Let there be modifiers in the firmament of the subject to further confuse and divide the students in the classroom; and let them be for proper nouns, concrete nouns, mass nouns, collective nouns, pronouns, and abstract nouns.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;And let them be for to give meaning in the subject and to enhance the predicate;&#8221; and it was so confusing.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher made two great words: the greater word -adjective- to rule the noun, and the lesser word -adverb- to rule the verb; she made the conjunction also.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher set them in the sentence in order to make it difficult to diagram.<\/li>\n<li>And to make it easier for her to divide the bright students from those who remained in darkness; and Teacher saw that her system was good.<\/li>\n<li>And the phrase and the clause were the fourth day.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher said, &#8220;Let the verbs bring forth abundantly the many verb forms, the gerunds, infinitives, and participles; the subjunctives; the auxiliary verbs, the linking verbs; and the phrasal verbs.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher created mood for every living creature that moveth, and tense for all time, and voice after their kind: and Teacher saw that it was indeed good.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher blessed them saying, &#8220;Be fruitful and multiply in complexity, and fill young minds with bewilderment, and let the bewilderment multiply into chaos in their minds.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>And the lecture and the English test were the fifth day.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher said, &#8220;Let the nouns and verbs bring forth living sentences after their own kind, book reports, essay questions, and English themes for the students to write;&#8221; and it was very so.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher made all these things for the freshman English student to do, and everything that creepeth into her mind she gave to them to do; and Teacher saw to it that it was good.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher said, &#8220;Let us make one project in our image, after our likeness; and let the product have dominion over the other projects, and over every subject of the college student.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>So Teacher created the research paper in her own image, in the image of Teacher created she it; boring and difficult created she it.<\/li>\n<li>And Teacher blessed it, and Teacher said unto the research paper, &#8220;Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the supply of dropouts, and subdue the remainder of the college students; and have dominion over the other projects, and over the other subjects, and over every single grade that the students receive.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth into the classroom, wherein there is life, I have given every rule and principle for good English;&#8221; and it was so.\n<li>And Teacher saw everything that she had made, and behold it was very good.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the beginning my English teacher created nouns and verbs. And the verbs were without form and voice; and darkness was upon the face of the deep&#8211;my teacher. And she said, &#8220;Let there be grammar;&#8221; and there was grammar. And Teacher saw the verbs and laughed and said that it was good; and she divided [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[455,590,738,1406],"class_list":["post-636","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-collegeschool","tag-creation","tag-english","tag-grammar","tag-teacher"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=636"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}