{"id":617,"date":"2014-12-23T14:50:52","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T12:50:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=617"},"modified":"2014-12-23T14:50:52","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T12:50:52","slug":"elementary-school-days","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=617","title":{"rendered":"Elementary School Days"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?<br \/>\nSARAH: &#8220;HIJKLMNO&#8221;!!<br \/>\nTEACHER: What are you talking about?<br \/>\nSARAH: Yesterday you said it&#8217;s H to O!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.<br \/>\nGEORGE: Here it is!<br \/>\nTEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?<br \/>\nCLASS: George!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn&#8217;t have ten years ago.<br \/>\nWILLY: Me!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>TEACHER: Why are you late?<br \/>\nWEBSTER: Because of the sign.<br \/>\nTEACHER: What sign?<br \/>\nWEBSTER: The one that says, &#8220;School Ahead, Go Slow.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?<br \/>\nFATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?<br \/>\nSYLVIA: Your name on this report card.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.<br \/>\nSAMMY: You can&#8217;t fool me, Teacher&#8230; snakes don&#8217;t have feet.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with &#8220;I&#8221;.<br \/>\nELLEN: I is&#8230;<br \/>\nTEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, &#8220;I am.&#8221;<br \/>\nELLEN: All right&#8230; &#8220;I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?<br \/>\nCLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH: &#8220;HIJKLMNO&#8221;!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH: Yesterday you said it&#8217;s H to O! TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[577,1289],"class_list":["post-617","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-collegeschool","tag-elementary-school","tag-school"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/617","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=617"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/617\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=617"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=617"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=617"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}