{"id":579,"date":"2014-12-23T14:13:16","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T12:13:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=579"},"modified":"2014-12-23T14:13:16","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T12:13:16","slug":"answering-machine-at-school","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=579","title":{"rendered":"The Answering Machine at School"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>To lie about why your child is absent &#8211; Press 1<\/li>\n<li>To make excuses for why your child did not do his work &#8211; Press 2<\/li>\n<li>To complain about what we do &#8211; Press 3<\/li>\n<li>To cuss out staff members &#8211; Press 4<\/li>\n<li>To ask why you didn&#8217;t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you &#8211; Press 5<\/li>\n<li>If you want us to raise your child &#8211; Press 6<\/li>\n<li>If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone &#8211; Press 7<\/li>\n<li>To request another teacher for the third time this year &#8211; Press 8<\/li>\n<li>To complain about bus transportation &#8211; Press 9<\/li>\n<li>To complain about school lunches &#8211; Press 0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable\/ responsible for his\/ her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it&#8217;s not the teachers fault for your child(ren)&#8217;s lack of effort, hang up and have a nice day! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection: To lie about why your child is absent &#8211; Press 1 To make excuses for why your child did not do his work [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,13],"tags":[141,1289],"class_list":["post-579","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answering-machines","category-collegeschool","tag-answering-machine","tag-school"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/579","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=579"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/579\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=579"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=579"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=579"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}