{"id":572,"date":"2014-12-23T14:03:31","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T12:03:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=572"},"modified":"2014-12-23T14:03:31","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T12:03:31","slug":"actual-school-excuses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=572","title":{"rendered":"Actual School Excuses"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The following is a partial list of actual written excuses given to teachers in the Albuquerque Public School System by parents of students:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.<\/li>\n<li>Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday.  She was in bed with gramps.<\/li>\n<li>Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father&#8217;s fault.<\/li>\n<li>Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.<\/li>\n<li>John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.<\/li>\n<li>Excuse Gloria.  She has been under the doctor.<\/li>\n<li>Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.<\/li>\n<li>My son is under the doctor&#8217;s care and should not take fizical ed.  Please execute him.<\/li>\n<li>Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part.<\/li>\n<li>My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired.  She spent this weekend with the Marines.<\/li>\n<li>Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.<\/li>\n<li>Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.<\/li>\n<li>Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach.  Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever.  There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night.<\/li>\n<li>Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating.<\/li>\n<li>George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.<\/li>\n<li>Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.<\/li>\n<li>Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.<\/li>\n<li>Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.<\/li>\n<li>Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday.  He had diah(*crossed out*), diahoah(*crossed out*), dyah(*crossed out*) the shits.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The following is a partial list of actual written excuses given to teachers in the Albuquerque Public School System by parents of students: Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. Please [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[610,833,924,1289],"class_list":["post-572","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-collegeschool","tag-excuse","tag-illness","tag-lists","tag-school"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/572","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=572"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/572\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=572"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=572"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=572"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}