{"id":57,"date":"2014-12-21T11:35:06","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T11:35:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=57"},"modified":"2014-12-21T11:35:06","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T11:35:06","slug":"all-i-need-to-know-i-learned-by-shopping","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=57","title":{"rendered":"All I Need to Know About Life I Learned By Shopping"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Get it now. Tomorrow it might be gone.<\/li>\n<li>If it&#8217;s on sale, you need it.<\/li>\n<li>Never ask your mother her opinion.<\/li>\n<li>You can always take it back.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ll grow into it.<\/li>\n<li>By the time you need it, you&#8217;ll lose ten pounds.<\/li>\n<li>Never believe anyone who says, &#8220;It&#8217;s really you&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>If they&#8217;re working on commission, they&#8217;re lying.<\/li>\n<li>Know when to yell, &#8220;Charge!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>So many malls, so little time.<\/li>\n<li>If you put it on your credit card, it&#8217;s not really spending money.<\/li>\n<li>Always try to spend someone else&#8217;s money first.<\/li>\n<li>There&#8217;s no such thing as compulsive shopping, just enthusiastic shopping.<\/li>\n<li>Shopping is patriotic. It&#8217;s good for the economy.<\/li>\n<li>If you&#8217;ve still got checks, there must be money in the account.<\/li>\n<li>You can always get more credit.<\/li>\n<li>If you want it, you deserve it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Get it now. Tomorrow it might be gone. If it&#8217;s on sale, you need it. Never ask your mother her opinion. You can always take it back. You&#8217;ll grow into it. By the time you need it, you&#8217;ll lose ten pounds. Never believe anyone who says, &#8220;It&#8217;s really you&#8221;. If they&#8217;re working on commission, they&#8217;re [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[128,924,1317],"class_list":["post-57","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-i-need","tag-all-i-need","tag-lists","tag-shopping"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=57"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=57"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=57"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=57"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}