{"id":541,"date":"2014-12-22T23:13:00","date_gmt":"2014-12-22T21:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=541"},"modified":"2014-12-22T23:13:00","modified_gmt":"2014-12-22T21:13:00","slug":"an-ode-to-furballs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=541","title":{"rendered":"An Ode to Furballs"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>After dark, all cats are jaguars&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Never *ever* try to baptize a cat.<\/li>\n<li>Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get a cat to pull a sled.<\/li>\n<li>A cat knows your every thought. It doesn&#8217;t care. But it knows.<\/li>\n<li>If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I will put shoes on my cat &#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Most people with cats, know they are being controlled. That&#8217;s the horror of it &#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Never try to out stubborn a cat.<\/li>\n<li>Thousands of years ago, humans worshiped the cat. They have not forgotten this&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Whenever I bathe my cat, it takes an hour to get the fur off of my tongue.<\/li>\n<li>I prefer to live with Feline Sapiens, thank you very much.<\/li>\n<li>(picture of a fat tabby on a couch, looking at his owner)  &#8220;My species domesticated your species&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>After dark, all cats are jaguars&#8230; Never *ever* try to baptize a cat. Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get a cat to pull a sled. A cat knows your every thought. It doesn&#8217;t care. But it knows. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I will put shoes on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[322,924],"class_list":["post-541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cats","tag-cat","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=541"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}