{"id":51,"date":"2014-12-21T11:30:34","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T11:30:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=51"},"modified":"2014-12-21T11:30:34","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T11:30:34","slug":"all-i-need-to-know-i-learned-from-noahs-ark","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=51","title":{"rendered":"All I Need to Know About Life I Learned from Noah&#8217;s Ark"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Plan ahead. It wasn&#8217;t raining when Noah built the ark.<\/li>\n<li>Stay fit. When you&#8217;re 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something  Really big.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t listen to critics.  Do what has to be done.<\/li>\n<li>Build on the high ground.<\/li>\n<li>For safety&#8217;s sake, travel in pairs.<\/li>\n<li>Two heads are better than one.<\/li>\n<li>Speed isn&#8217;t always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.<\/li>\n<li>If you can&#8217;t fight or flee&#8211;float. <\/li>\n<li>Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth. <\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t forget that we&#8217;re all in the same boat.<\/li>\n<li>When the doo-doo gets really deep, don&#8217;t sit there and complain&#8211;shovel!<\/li>\n<li>Stay below deck during the storm.<\/li>\n<li>Remember that the ark was built by amateurs &amp; the Titanic was built by professionals.<\/li>\n<li>If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.<\/li>\n<li>Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.<\/li>\n<li>No matter how bleak it looks, there&#8217;s always a rainbow on the other side.<\/li>\n<li>DON&#8217;T MISS THE BOAT !!!!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Plan ahead. It wasn&#8217;t raining when Noah built the ark. Stay fit. When you&#8217;re 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something Really big. Don&#8217;t listen to critics. Do what has to be done. Build on the high ground. For safety&#8217;s sake, travel in pairs. Two heads are better than one. Speed isn&#8217;t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[128,924,1076],"class_list":["post-51","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-i-need","tag-all-i-need","tag-lists","tag-noah"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=51"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=51"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=51"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=51"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}