{"id":465,"date":"2014-12-22T21:18:19","date_gmt":"2014-12-22T19:18:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=465"},"modified":"2014-12-22T21:18:19","modified_gmt":"2014-12-22T19:18:19","slug":"reasons-to-own-a-cat-over-a-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=465","title":{"rendered":"Reasons to Own a Cat Over a Dog"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Cats rule. Dogs drool.<\/li>\n<li>Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they&#8217;re horny.<\/li>\n<li>Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.<\/li>\n<li>In 1996, over 10,000 US deaths were attributed to a dog owner&#8217;s choking on saliva during morning wake-up licks.<\/li>\n<li>Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won&#8217;t even let you throw them.<\/li>\n<li>Cats let you kick them when you&#8217;re stressed out.<\/li>\n<li>Cats will wait until you&#8217;ve read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.<\/li>\n<li>Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs crash right in front of the screen.<\/li>\n<li>No one has ever had to &#8220;Beware of the Cat.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Cats bury their crap. Dogs dig up others&#8217;.<\/li>\n<li>Cats have better things to do than stick their nose in your crotch.<\/li>\n<li>Cats lay on the car in the heat. Dogs in heat lay the car.<\/li>\n<li>Why do you think they call it &#8220;Dog Breath?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Garfield. Odie.<\/li>\n<li>Enough said.<\/li>\n<p><\/UL><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cats rule. Dogs drool. Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they&#8217;re horny. Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg. In 1996, over 10,000 US deaths were attributed to a dog owner&#8217;s choking on saliva during morning wake-up licks. Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won&#8217;t even let you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[322,336,528,924],"class_list":["post-465","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cats","tag-cat","tag-cats-vs-dogs","tag-dog","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/465","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=465"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/465\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=465"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=465"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=465"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}