{"id":463,"date":"2014-12-22T21:16:42","date_gmt":"2014-12-22T19:16:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=463"},"modified":"2014-12-22T21:16:42","modified_gmt":"2014-12-22T19:16:42","slug":"the-bachelor-and-his-cat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=463","title":{"rendered":"The Bachelor and his Cat"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A bachelor who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe.  Before he left he told his best friend to inform him of any emergencies.<\/p>\n<p>A few days after his departure, his cat climbed up on the roof, fell off and was killed.  His friend immediately wired him with the message: &#8220;Your cat died!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In a few hours he was back home, having cut short his trip in grief and anger at his friend, whom he told &#8220;Why didn&#8217;t you break the news to me gradually?  You know how close I was to my cat!  You could have sent a message &#8216;Your cat climbed up on the roof today&#8217;, and the next day you could&#8217;ve written, &#8216;Your cat fell off the roof&#8217; and let me down slowly that he died.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>After a quick memorial service, the bachelor left again to continue his trip. A few days later he returned to his hotel and there was a message waiting for him from his friend.  It read, &#8220;Your mother climbed up on the roof today.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A bachelor who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to inform him of any emergencies. A few days after his departure, his cat climbed up on the roof, fell off and was killed. His friend immediately wired him [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[322,485,1486],"class_list":["post-463","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cats","tag-cat","tag-death","tag-vacation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/463","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=463"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/463\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=463"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=463"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=463"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}