{"id":455,"date":"2014-12-22T21:03:46","date_gmt":"2014-12-22T19:03:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=455"},"modified":"2014-12-22T21:03:46","modified_gmt":"2014-12-22T19:03:46","slug":"cat-mind-games","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=455","title":{"rendered":"Cat Mind Games"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Stare with the exact same expression whether you&#8217;re looking at nothing or an ax murderer.<\/li>\n<li>Wait till your human lays out their clothes and decide this would be the perfect place to take a nap.<\/li>\n<li>Race through the house, hair on end and stop in an attack pose. Then walk of nonchalantly. Repeat as necessary.<\/li>\n<li>Play with invisible objects. <\/li>\n<li>Wait till your human is asleep and jump up and start kneeding any available body parts.<\/li>\n<li>Figure 8 your humans legs while they are walking around the kitchen cooking something you won&#8217;t get a bite of.<\/li>\n<li>Before your human gets out of their bed, make sure your napping in the bathroom doorway.<\/li>\n<li>Leave gifts of small animal body parts in your human&#8217; s shoes.  Then wait to be praised. Stalk off if not rewarded for your gift.<\/li>\n<li>If you absolutly have to go to the vet, cling to your human&#8217;s head, howling at the top of your lungs and spew hairballs on the vet.<\/li>\n<li>Wait till your human is eating, then jump on the table and shed.<\/li>\n<li>Using the litterbox at your human&#8217;s mealtimes can be great fun.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Stare with the exact same expression whether you&#8217;re looking at nothing or an ax murderer. Wait till your human lays out their clothes and decide this would be the perfect place to take a nap. Race through the house, hair on end and stop in an attack pose. Then walk of nonchalantly. Repeat as necessary. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[322,924,1017],"class_list":["post-455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cats","tag-cat","tag-lists","tag-mind-game"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=455"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/455\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}