{"id":4290,"date":"2015-08-23T15:21:58","date_gmt":"2015-08-23T13:21:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4290"},"modified":"2015-08-23T15:21:58","modified_gmt":"2015-08-23T13:21:58","slug":"understanding-corporate-speak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4290","title":{"rendered":"Understanding Corporate Speak"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>Essentially complete<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s half done.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>We predict &#8230;<br \/>\nWe hope to God!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Risk is high, but within acceptable ranges of risk:<br \/>\n100:1 odds, or with 10 times over budget using 10 times the people we said we&#8217;d employ.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Potential show stopper<br \/>\nThe team has updated their resumes.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Serious but not insurmountable problems<br \/>\nIt&#8217;ll take a miracle &#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Basic agreement has been reached<br \/>\nThe @##$%%&#8217;s won&#8217;t even talk to us.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Results are being quantified<br \/>\nWe&#8217;re massaging the numbers so they will agree with our conclusions.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Task force to review<br \/>\nSeven people who are incompetent at their regular jobs have been loaned to the project.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Not well defined at this time<br \/>\nNobody&#8217;s even thought about it.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Still analyzing the requirements<br \/>\nSee previous answer.<\/p>\n<p><li>Not well understood<br \/>\nNow that we&#8217;ve thought about it, we don&#8217;t want to think about it anymore.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Requires further analysis and management attention<br \/>\nTotally out of control!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Results are promising<br \/>\nTurned power on and no smoke detected &#8212; this time&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Essentially complete It&#8217;s half done. We predict &#8230; We hope to God! Risk is high, but within acceptable ranges of risk: 100:1 odds, or with 10 times over budget using 10 times the people we said we&#8217;d employ. Potential show stopper The team has updated their resumes. Serious but not insurmountable problems It&#8217;ll take a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[61,70],"tags":[442,864],"class_list":["post-4290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-business-world","category-work","tag-corporate","tag-jargon"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4290","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4290"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4290\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4290"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4290"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4290"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}