{"id":4284,"date":"2015-08-23T15:02:51","date_gmt":"2015-08-23T13:02:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4284"},"modified":"2015-08-23T15:02:51","modified_gmt":"2015-08-23T13:02:51","slug":"are-you-a-prostitute-or-are-you-a-consultant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4284","title":{"rendered":"Are You a Prostitute or Are You a Consultant?"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You work very odd hours.<\/li>\n<li>You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.<\/li>\n<li>You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.<\/li>\n<li>You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.<\/li>\n<li>You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.<\/li>\n<li>You are not proud of what you do.<\/li>\n<li>Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s difficult to have a family.<\/li>\n<li>You have no job satisfaction.<\/li>\n<li>If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.<\/li>\n<li>You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.<\/li>\n<li>People ask you, &#8220;What do you do?&#8221; and you can&#8217;t explain it.<\/li>\n<li>Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.<\/li>\n<li>Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.<\/li>\n<li>Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.<\/li>\n<li>Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.<\/li>\n<li>You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth, but if the client is foolish enough to pay, it&#8217;s not your problem.<\/li>\n<li>When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).<\/li>\n<li>You are rated on your &#8220;performance&#8221; in an excruciating ordeal.<\/li>\n<li>Even though you get paid the big bucks, it&#8217;s the client who walks away smiling.<\/li>\n<li>The client always thinks your &#8220;cut&#8221; of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.<\/li>\n<li>When you deduct your &#8220;take&#8221; from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You work very odd hours. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money. You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended. You are not proud [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[70],"tags":[424,1089,1205],"class_list":["post-4284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-work","tag-consultant","tag-office","tag-prostitute"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4284"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4284\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}