{"id":4278,"date":"2015-08-23T14:52:46","date_gmt":"2015-08-23T12:52:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4278"},"modified":"2015-08-23T14:52:46","modified_gmt":"2015-08-23T12:52:46","slug":"application-for-a-piece-of-ass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4278","title":{"rendered":"Application for a Piece of Ass"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Approved ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<br \/>\nDenied ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<\/p>\n<p>Tested For Aids? ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<br \/>\nTested For STDs? ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<br \/>\nPhysician_________________<\/p>\n<hr width=\"50%\">\n<ul>\n<li>Name____________________________<\/li>\n<li>Address_______________________________<\/li>\n<li>Age_____<\/li>\n<li>Phone____________<\/li>\n<li>Social Security#______________________________<\/li>\n<p><li>Hair Color________<br \/>\nReal? ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Eye Color__________<br \/>\nReal? ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Dentures?<br \/>\n( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>Height_________<\/li>\n<li>Weight_________<\/li>\n<li>Waist Size_______<\/li>\n<p><li>Marital Status:<br \/>\n( ) Married<br \/>\n( ) Single<br \/>\n( ) Divorced<br \/>\n( ) Attached<br \/>\n( ) Cheating<br \/>\n( ) Other<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Chest or Bra Size_________________<br \/>\nAre they real? ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Are your nipples:<br \/>\n( ) Small<br \/>\n( ) Medium<br \/>\n( ) Large<br \/>\n( ) Pink<br \/>\n( ) Peach-colored<br \/>\n( ) Dark<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Do you like them:<br \/>\n( ) Sucked<br \/>\n( ) Chewed<br \/>\n( ) Kissed<br \/>\n( ) Caressed<br \/>\n( ) Squeezed<br \/>\n( ) None of the above<br \/>\n( ) Other_________<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Can you stay out late?<br \/>\n( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<br \/>\nHow Late?____<br \/>\nAll Night____<br \/>\nSeveral Days?__<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Do you like to be screwed?<br \/>\n( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<br \/>\nHow often?__________<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Do you take it in the ass?<br \/>\n( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( )No<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Do you like giving Oral Sex?<br \/>\n( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<br \/>\nReceiving?<br \/>\n( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Penis or Pussy Size:<br \/>\n( ) Microscopic<br \/>\n( ) Small<br \/>\n( ) Medium<br \/>\n( ) Large<br \/>\n( ) Extra Large<br \/>\n( ) Does it matter?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Are you shaved?<br \/>\n( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>While Screwing do you:<br \/>\n( ) Faint<br \/>\n( ) Fart<br \/>\n( ) Cry<br \/>\n( ) Moan<br \/>\n( ) Hum<br \/>\n( ) Scream<br \/>\n( ) Whistle<br \/>\n( ) Yodel<br \/>\n( ) Scratch<br \/>\n( ) All of the above<br \/>\n( ) Just lay there<br \/>\n( ) Other__________________________<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>When you come, Do you:<br \/>\n( ) Wiggle<br \/>\n( ) Wobble<br \/>\n( ) Twist<br \/>\n( ) Jerk<br \/>\n( ) Scream<br \/>\n( ) Moan<br \/>\n( ) Cry<br \/>\n( ) Other?________________________________________<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What kind of screw do you like?<br \/>\n( ) Fast<br \/>\n( ) Slow<br \/>\n( ) Super Fast<br \/>\n( ) All night<br \/>\nHow many times_______<br \/>\nComments_________________________________________<\/p>\n<li>How long do you screw at one interval?_________________________________<\/li>\n<p><li>Do you want to screw now?<br \/>\n( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>If you have screwed before, Give 2 References (Not Immediate Family)<\/li>\n<ul>\n<li>Name__________________________<br \/>\nAddress_______________________<br \/>\nPhone___________<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>Name__________________________<br \/>\nAddress_______________________<br \/>\nPhone___________<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n<p><li>If the Application is favorable, what are your charges? If any?<br \/>\nFor one night____________<br \/>\nOne Hour___________<br \/>\nMuff Burger Special or Blow Job______________<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><LI>What credit card will you accept?<br \/>\n( ) Master Card<br \/>\n( ) Visa<br \/>\n( ) Sears<br \/>\n( ) JC Pennys<br \/>\n( ) Shell<br \/>\n( ) American Express<br \/>\n( ) Citicorp<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Do you have any pictures to attach?<br \/>\n( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>If you don&#8217;t have any pictures to attach, will you pose for some?<br \/>\n( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I verify the Above Information is the Truth, So Help me God!!<\/p>\n<p>___________________________________<br \/>\nSignature<\/p>\n<p>___________________________________<br \/>\nDate<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Approved ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No Denied ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No Tested For Aids? ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No Tested For STDs? ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No Physician_________________ Name____________________________ Address_______________________________ Age_____ Phone____________ Social Security#______________________________ Hair Color________ Real? ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No Eye Color__________ Real? ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( ) No Dentures? ( ) Yes&nbsp;&nbsp;( [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[149,1310],"class_list":["post-4278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dirty","tag-application","tag-sex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4278","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4278"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4278\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4278"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4278"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4278"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}