{"id":4260,"date":"2015-08-23T13:35:51","date_gmt":"2015-08-23T11:35:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4260"},"modified":"2015-08-23T13:35:51","modified_gmt":"2015-08-23T11:35:51","slug":"fart-football","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4260","title":{"rendered":"Fart Football"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, &#8220;Seven Points.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>His wife rolls over and says, &#8220;What in the world was that?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The old man replied,\u00a0&#8220;It&#8217;s Fart Football.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, &#8220;Touchdown, tie score&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, &#8220;Aha. I&#8217;m ahead 14 to 7.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, &#8220;Touchdown, tie score.&#8221;\u00a0<span class=\"text_exposed_show\">Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, &#8220;Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.&#8221; Now the pressure is on for the old man.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"text_exposed_show\">He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.\u00a0Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he&#8217;s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"text_exposed_show\">The wife says, &#8220;What the hell was that?&#8221;<\/span><span class=\"text_exposed_show\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"text_exposed_show\">The old man says, &#8220;Half time, switch sides!&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, &#8220;Seven Points.&#8221; His wife rolls over and says, &#8220;What in the world was that?&#8221; The old man replied,\u00a0&#8220;It&#8217;s Fart Football.&#8221; A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, &#8220;Touchdown, tie score&#8230;&#8221; After about five minutes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,23],"tags":[628,1095],"class_list":["post-4260","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aging","category-fart-jokes","tag-fart-jokes","tag-old-couple"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4260"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4260\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}