{"id":4249,"date":"2015-03-08T15:35:22","date_gmt":"2015-03-08T13:35:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4249"},"modified":"2015-03-08T15:35:22","modified_gmt":"2015-03-08T13:35:22","slug":"why-a-christmas-tree-is-better-than","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4249","title":{"rendered":"Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div align=\"center\"><b>Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman<\/b><\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>A Christmas tree doesn&#8217;t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.<\/li>\n<li>Christmas trees don&#8217;t get mad if you use exotic electrical devices.<\/li>\n<li>A Christmas tree doesn&#8217;t care if you have an artificial one in the closet.<\/li>\n<li>You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.<\/li>\n<li>A Christmas tree doesn&#8217;t get mad if you look up underneath it.<\/li>\n<li>When you are done with a Christmas tree, you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.<\/li>\n<li>A Christmas tree doesn&#8217;t get jealous around other Christmas trees.<\/li>\n<li>A Christmas tree doesn&#8217;t care if you watch football all day.<\/li>\n<li>A Christmas tree doesn&#8217;t get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div align=\"center\"><b>Why Is A Christmas Tree Better Than A Man<\/b><\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>A Christmas tree is always erect.<\/li>\n<li>Even small ones give satisfaction.<\/li>\n<li>A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.<\/li>\n<li>A Christmas tree always looks good &#8211; even with the lights on.<\/li>\n<li>A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.<\/li>\n<li>A Christmas tree has cute balls.<\/li>\n<li>A Christmas tree doesn&#8217;t get mad if you break one of its balls.<\/li>\n<li>You can throw a Christmas tree out when it&#8217;s past its &#8216;sell by&#8217; date.<\/li>\n<li>You don&#8217;t have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman A Christmas tree doesn&#8217;t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. Christmas trees don&#8217;t get mad if you use exotic electrical devices. A Christmas tree doesn&#8217;t care if you have an artificial one in the closet. You can feel a Christmas [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[54],"tags":[370],"class_list":["post-4249","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-season","tag-christmas"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4249"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4249\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}