Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual
\nYuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity
\nwas not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including the
\nspecies of domestic rodent known as Mus Musculus.<\/p>\n
Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood
\nburning caloric apparatus pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding
\nan imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric
\nappellations is the honorific title of Saint Nicholas.<\/p>\n
The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective
\naccommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations
\nof variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums.<\/p>\n
My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings were
\nabout to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the
\nexterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance
\nthat I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my place of repose for
\nthe purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof.<\/p>\n
Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing this
\nfenestration. Noting hereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected
\nas it was on the surface of a recent crystalline precipitation, might be
\nsaid to rival that of the solar meridian itself. Thus permitting my incredulous
\noptical sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyance,
\ndrawn by eight diminutive specimens of the genus Rangifer.<\/p>\n
Piloted by a minuscule aged chauffer so ebullient and nimble that it
\nbecame instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated caller.<\/p>\n
With his ungulate motive power traveling at what may have been more
\nvertiginous velocity than patriotic alar predators, he vociferated loudly,
\nexpelled breath musically through contracted labia, and addressed each
\nof the octet by his or her respective cognomen: “Now Dasher, now Dancer”,
\net al..<\/p>\n
Guiding them to the uppermost exterior level of our abode, through which
\nstructure I could readily distinguish the concatenations of each of the
\n32 cloven pedal extremities. As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile
\nlocation, and was performing a 180 degree pivot, our distinguished visitant
\nachieved — with utmost celerity and via a downward leap — entry by the
\nway of the smoke passage.<\/p>\n
He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebon residue from
\noxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls thereof.
\nHis resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely to the plethora
\nof assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle.
\nHis orbs were scintillating with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary
\ndermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability.<\/p>\n
The capillaries of his molar regions and nasal protuberance were engorged
\nwith blood which suffused in subcutaneous layers, the former approximating
\nthe coloration of Albion’s floral emblem, the later that of the Prunus
\nAvium, or Sweet Cherry.<\/p>\n
His amusing sub- and supra-labials resembled nothing so much as a common
\nloop knot, and their ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small
\ntabular and columnar crystals being.<\/p>\n
Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece whose gray
\nfumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of
\na decorative seasonal circlet of holly.<\/p>\n
His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful,
\nhis corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner of pectinous fruit
\nsyrup in a hemispherical container.<\/p>\n
He was, in short, neither more or less than obese, jocund, multigenarian
\ngnome, the optical perception of whom rendered me visibly frolicsome despite
\nevery effort to refrain from so being.<\/p>\n
By rapidly lowering and then elevating one eyelid and rotating his head
\nto one side he indicated that trepidation on my part was groundless.<\/p>\n
Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the afore-mentioned
\nhosiery with various of the afore-mentioned articles of merchandise extracted
\nfrom his afore-mentioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle.<\/p>\n
Upon completion of his task, he executed an abrupt about face, placed
\na singular manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ,
\ninclined his cranium forward in a gesture of leave-taking, and forthwith
\neffected his egress by renegotiating, in reverse, the smoke passage.<\/p>\n
He propelled himself in short vector onto his conveyance, directed a
\nmusical expulsion of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered
\nquadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar aloft in a movement hitherto
\nobservable chiefly among the seed-bearing portions of a common weed.<\/p>\n
But I overheard his parting exclamation, audibly immediately prior to
\nhis vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility:<\/p>\n
“Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary constituency, and to that self-same
\nassemblage, my sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly
\npleasurable period between sunset and dawn!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including the species of domestic rodent known as Mus Musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[64],"tags":[906],"class_list":["post-4202","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-twas","tag-legalese"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4202","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4202"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4202\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4202"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4202"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4202"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}