{"id":4188,"date":"2015-03-01T14:39:36","date_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:39:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4188"},"modified":"2015-03-01T14:39:36","modified_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:39:36","slug":"reasons-hanukkah-is-better-than-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4188","title":{"rendered":"Reasons Hanukkah is Better than Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>There&#8217;s no &#8220;Kathy Lee Gifford Hanukkah Special.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Eight days of presents (well&#8230; in theory, anyway).<\/li>\n<li>More elephants in the Hanukkah story.<\/li>\n<li>No need to clean the chimney.<\/li>\n<li>There&#8217;s no latke-nog.<\/li>\n<li>No roof damage from reindeer.<\/li>\n<li>Dance of the Sugar-Plum Rebbe.<\/li>\n<li>Burl Ives doesn&#8217;t sing Hanukkah songs.<\/li>\n<li>Never a silent night when you&#8217;re among your Jewish loved ones.<\/li>\n<li>You won&#8217;t be pressured to buy Hanukkah Seals.<\/li>\n<li>Betting Hanukkah gelt (money) on candle races.<\/li>\n<li>You won&#8217;t see, &#8220;You&#8217;re a Putz, Charlie Brown.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Yes, Rivka&#8217;le, there is no Santa Claus.<\/li>\n<li>No barking dog version of &#8220;I had a Little Dreidel.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Naked spin-the-dreidel games.<\/li>\n<li>No pine needles to vacuum up afterwards.<\/li>\n<li>Fun waxy buildup.<\/li>\n<li>No awkward explanations of virgin birth.<\/li>\n<li>Latkes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes.<\/li>\n<li>Cheer optional.<\/li>\n<li>No Irving Berlin songs.<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t be nailed to the menorah.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There&#8217;s no &#8220;Kathy Lee Gifford Hanukkah Special.&#8221; Eight days of presents (well&#8230; in theory, anyway). More elephants in the Hanukkah story. No need to clean the chimney. There&#8217;s no latke-nog. No roof damage from reindeer. Dance of the Sugar-Plum Rebbe. Burl Ives doesn&#8217;t sing Hanukkah songs. Never a silent night when you&#8217;re among your Jewish [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[54],"tags":[765],"class_list":["post-4188","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-season","tag-hanukah"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4188","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4188"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4188\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4188"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4188"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4188"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}