{"id":4178,"date":"2015-03-01T14:35:48","date_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:35:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4178"},"modified":"2015-03-01T14:35:48","modified_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:35:48","slug":"the-grinch-test","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4178","title":{"rendered":"The Grinch Test"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is a set of essential personality tests to prepare you misfit readers for Christmas and your New Year’s resolutions:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You reuse last year’s Christmas cards and send them out under your own name (5 points).<\/li>\n
  2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor’s outdoor display to replenish your own supply (5 points, 10 if neighbor’s whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out).<\/li>\n
  3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer.(10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points).<\/li>\n
  4. You put out last year’s stale candy canes for children (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.<\/li>\n
  5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale’s or other prestige box to impress your friends (5 points for each infraction).<\/li>\n
  6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.<\/li>\n
  7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party).<\/li>\n
  8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own (Southern California only, others ignore: 5 points).<\/li>\n
  9. After an invitation to a friend’s house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).<\/li>\n
  10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no (20 points).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Evaluate your score on the “Grinch Scale” from 20 to 100.<\/p>\n