{"id":4168,"date":"2015-03-01T14:31:37","date_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:31:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4168"},"modified":"2015-03-01T14:31:37","modified_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:31:37","slug":"elf-pick-up-lines","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4168","title":{"rendered":"Elf Pick-Up Lines"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;I&#8217;m down here.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Just because I&#8217;ve got bells on my shoes, doesn&#8217;t mean I&#8217;m a sissy.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I was once a lawn ornament for &#8216;NSync. Want to meet them?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I can get you off Santa&#8217;s naughty list.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I have certain needs that can&#8217;t be satisfied by working on toys.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I&#8217;m a magical being. Can I try to make your top and bra disappear?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;No, no. I don&#8217;t bake cookies. You&#8217;re thinking of those dorks over at Keebler.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Get an eyedropper of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You&#8217;d look great in a Raggedy Ann wig.&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I can eat my weight in cocktail wieners.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m down here.&#8221; &#8220;Just because I&#8217;ve got bells on my shoes, doesn&#8217;t mean I&#8217;m a sissy.&#8221; &#8220;I was once a lawn ornament for &#8216;NSync. Want to meet them?&#8221; &#8220;I can get you off Santa&#8217;s naughty list.&#8221; &#8220;I have certain needs that can&#8217;t be satisfied by working on toys.&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;m a magical being. Can I try [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[54],"tags":[579],"class_list":["post-4168","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-season","tag-elf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4168","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4168"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4168\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4168"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4168"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4168"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}