{"id":4157,"date":"2015-03-01T14:27:16","date_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:27:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4157"},"modified":"2015-03-01T14:27:16","modified_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:27:16","slug":"christmas-controversies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4157","title":{"rendered":"Christmas Controversies"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>CONTROVERSY: Should the tree be real or fake?<br \/>\nYUPPIE: Live tree, planted after use.<br \/>\nMALE: Fake tree, discarded after use.<br \/>\nFEMALE: Grow tree in house, adorned with fruits<br \/>\nREALITY: Fake tree stays up until May, adorned with fur balls.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>CONTROVERSY: Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant?<br \/>\nYUPPIE: Each bulb blinks to its own random rhythm.<br \/>\nMALE: Bulbs flash logo of football team.<br \/>\nFEMALE: Elegant flickering candles.<br \/>\nREALITY: Tree bursts into flames, burns house down.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>CONTROVERSY: Should tree be topped with an angel or a star?<br \/>\nYUPPIE: Gender-neutral angel; no submissive female stereotype.<br \/>\nMALE: Blonde angel, kneeling, in a wet T-shirt.<br \/>\nFEMALE: Authentic angel explains true meaning of Christmas.<br \/>\nREALITY: Hell&#8217;s Angel steals the tree and the gifts.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>CONTROVERSY: Do you fling or hang tinsel?<br \/>\nYUPPIE: Empower each strand with\/self-determining skills.<br \/>\nMALE: Six large clumps of tinsel on front of tree.<br \/>\nFEMALE: Each icicle hangs like strand of spaghetti.<br \/>\nREALITY: More icicles on floor than on tree.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>CONTROVERSY: Do you open gifts on Christmas Eve or Morning?<br \/>\nYUPPIE: Gifts opened on posted, individual schedules.<br \/>\nMALE: Anytime, just so it doesn&#8217;t interfere with football.<br \/>\nFEMALE: Anytime the entire family is present.<br \/>\nREALITY: Doesn&#8217;t matter, everyone&#8217;s peeked anyway.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>CONTROVERSY: Should the tree be real or fake? YUPPIE: Live tree, planted after use. MALE: Fake tree, discarded after use. FEMALE: Grow tree in house, adorned with fruits REALITY: Fake tree stays up until May, adorned with fur balls. CONTROVERSY: Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant? YUPPIE: Each bulb blinks to its own random [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[54],"tags":[370],"class_list":["post-4157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-season","tag-christmas"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4157"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4157\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}