{"id":4139,"date":"2015-03-01T14:17:44","date_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:17:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4139"},"modified":"2015-03-01T14:17:44","modified_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:17:44","slug":"gifts-not-to-get-anyone-for-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4139","title":{"rendered":"Gifts *Not* to Get Anyone for Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>The gift of a free membership to Weight Watchers<\/li>\n<li>The &#8220;Monica gift set&#8221; including a cigar, beret, and stain remover<\/li>\n<li>A ride-on vacuum cleaner &#8212; especially when she is expecting her favorite perfume.<\/li>\n<li>A free consultation with Dr. Kevorkian<\/li>\n<li>A Solar powered flashlight<\/li>\n<li>A voucher for a free pap smear<\/li>\n<li>A ten dollar gift certificate to McDonalds<\/li>\n<li>Membership in Fruitcake of the Month club<\/li>\n<li>The same lousy present that they gave you last year that you never opened and didn&#8217;t know how to get rid of it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The gift of a free membership to Weight Watchers The &#8220;Monica gift set&#8221; including a cigar, beret, and stain remover A ride-on vacuum cleaner &#8212; especially when she is expecting her favorite perfume. A free consultation with Dr. Kevorkian A Solar powered flashlight A voucher for a free pap smear A ten dollar gift certificate [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[54],"tags":[179],"class_list":["post-4139","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-season","tag-bad-gifts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4139","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4139"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4139\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4139"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4139"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4139"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}