{"id":4137,"date":"2015-03-01T14:17:05","date_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:17:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4137"},"modified":"2015-03-01T14:17:05","modified_gmt":"2015-03-01T12:17:05","slug":"gifts-to-avoid-this-holiday-season","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4137","title":{"rendered":"Gifts to Avoid this Holiday Season"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Washington Post &#8212; Style Invitational Challenge for the week was to come up with a terribly inappropriate Christmas gift idea.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>4th runner up<br \/>\nLi&#8217;l Naturalist Hornet Farm<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>3rd runner up<br \/>\nA Pee Wee Herman pull toy<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>2nd runner up<br \/>\nThe Duncan YoGoes down, never comes back. Teaches children about warranties<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>1st runner up<br \/>\n5,200 pick up &#8212; a jumbo deck of cards that lets kids play a larger version of their favorite game<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Winner<br \/>\nThe &#8220;Learn About Puberty Chia Pet&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Honorable mentions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Supersoaker 9000: For use on those hard to reach targets; NFL referees, low flying planes, and many more. At close range it can strip paint, clean rusty grills, and dig utility trenches.<\/li>\n<li>The laff-o-minit jajic spellin&#8217; tootor.<\/li>\n<li>Doggie dentist &#8212; Kids learn about dentistry on the family pooch.<\/li>\n<li>Cuisin-Art &#8212; Turns mommy&#8217;s food processor into a spinning paint tool.<\/li>\n<li>Water retention Wanda &#8212; Teaches kids the principles of the calendar.<\/li>\n<li>Advanced play medical kit &#8212; includes colonoscope and speculum.<\/li>\n<li>Chocolate covered lead soldiers.<\/li>\n<li>Bungeroo &#8212; kid sized bungee kit for second story bedrooms.<\/li>\n<li>Islamic strip poker &#8212; lose a hand, lose a hand.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Washington Post &#8212; Style Invitational Challenge for the week was to come up with a terribly inappropriate Christmas gift idea. 4th runner up Li&#8217;l Naturalist Hornet Farm 3rd runner up A Pee Wee Herman pull toy 2nd runner up The Duncan YoGoes down, never comes back. Teaches children about warranties 1st runner up 5,200 pick [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[54],"tags":[179],"class_list":["post-4137","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-season","tag-bad-gifts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4137","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4137"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4137\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}