{"id":4095,"date":"2015-03-01T12:10:51","date_gmt":"2015-03-01T10:10:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4095"},"modified":"2015-03-01T12:10:51","modified_gmt":"2015-03-01T10:10:51","slug":"perspectives-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4095","title":{"rendered":"Perspectives"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Mathematician: Shit happening is just a special case&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Statistician: There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen. Maybe.<\/li>\n<li>Physicist (Theoretical): Shit SHOULD happen.<\/li>\n<li>Physicist (Experimental): To within experimental error, shit DID happen.<\/li>\n<li>Engineer: I hope this shit holds together.<\/li>\n<li>Chemist: I hope this shit doesn&#8217;t blow up.<\/li>\n<li>Biologist: Is this shit alive?<\/li>\n<li>Economist: I hope no one figures out that I don&#8217;t really understand this shit.<\/li>\n<li>Bureaucrat: I&#8217;m sorry, but we make this shit happen until you fill out form XJ-314159 to make an appointment with our Assistant Sub-Deputy Manager to obtain form ZN-271828&#8230;<\/li>\n<p><li>CEO: (1980&#8217;s) I&#8217;ve got all the shit I want.<br \/>\n(1990&#8217;s) Oh, SHIT!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>Lawyer: For a sufficient fee, I can get you out of ANY shit.<\/li>\n<li>Doctor: Take two shits and call me in the morning.<\/li>\n<li>Surgeon: Shit, where&#8217;s this organ supposed to go?<\/li>\n<li>Psychologist: Shit is in your mind. Everything that happens is shit; some of it is just repressing its subconscious shittiness.<\/li>\n<li>Programmer: It&#8217;s shit, but at least it compiles.<\/li>\n<li>Social Scientist: Let&#8217;s pretend that shit doesn&#8217;t happen&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Politician: It&#8217;s shit, but it&#8217;ll get me elected. If you elect me, shit will never again happen. Shit happening is bad for the economy.<\/li>\n<li>Waitress: You want fries with that shit?<\/li>\n<li>Musician: This shit is out of tune.<\/li>\n<li>Dean: Let&#8217;s see how much shit the faculty&#8217;ll take.<\/li>\n<li>Accountant: Why doesn&#8217;t this shit add up?<\/li>\n<li>Linguist: What I&#8217;m doing is a bunch of feces tauri.<\/li>\n<li>Quality Control Inspector: This shit ain&#8217;t good enough.<\/li>\n<li>IRS Auditor: I&#8217;ll make &#8217;em squirm for putting this shit on their tax forms.<\/li>\n<li>Farmer: I get subsidies for my shit.<\/li>\n<li>Union leader: Give us more shit or we&#8217;ll strike.<\/li>\n<li>Mafia boss: Rub the little shits out.<\/li>\n<li>NYC Cab Driver: Damn, looks like I hit that shit&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Telecom Tech: This shit is going the wrong way! You have to route it this way&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mathematician: Shit happening is just a special case&#8230; Statistician: There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen. Maybe. Physicist (Theoretical): Shit SHOULD happen. Physicist (Experimental): To within experimental error, shit DID happen. Engineer: I hope this shit holds together. Chemist: I hope this shit doesn&#8217;t blow up. Biologist: Is this shit alive? Economist: I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[53],"tags":[597],"class_list":["post-4095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-say-what","tag-errors"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4095"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4095\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}