{"id":4087,"date":"2015-03-01T12:03:26","date_gmt":"2015-03-01T10:03:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4087"},"modified":"2015-03-01T12:03:26","modified_gmt":"2015-03-01T10:03:26","slug":"only-in-america","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4087","title":{"rendered":"Only in America&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.<\/li>\n<li>Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.<\/li>\n<li>Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes right up front.<\/li>\n<li>Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and then top it all off with a DIET coke because they&#8217;re concerned about their weight<\/li>\n<li>Do banks leave the doors open and then chain the pens to the counter.<\/li>\n<li>Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.<\/li>\n<li>Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have &#8220;call waiting&#8221; so we won&#8217;t miss a call from someone we don&#8217;t want to talk to in the first place.<\/li>\n<li>Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.<\/li>\n<li>Do we use the word &#8220;Politics&#8221; to describe the process so well: &#8220;Poli&#8221; (from Latin) means &#8220;many&#8221;, and &#8220;tics&#8221;, meaning blood-sucking pests.<\/li>\n<li>Do banks have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes right up front. Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[131],"class_list":["post-4087","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","tag-america"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4087","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4087"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4087\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4087"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4087"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4087"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}