{"id":408,"date":"2014-12-22T01:11:01","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T23:11:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=408"},"modified":"2014-12-22T01:11:01","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T23:11:01","slug":"mercedes-benz-driving-test","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=408","title":{"rendered":"Mercedes Benz Driving Test"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n
  1. Before changing lanes you should:\n
      \n
    1. signal.<\/li>\n
    2. check. <\/li>\n
    3. both a & b. <\/li>\n
    4. just swing into the lane without doing either a or b. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
    5. The top light on a traffic signal is:\n
        \n
      1. red. <\/li>\n
      2. yellow. <\/li>\n
      3. green. <\/li>\n
      4. Who cares, it doesn’t apply to me anyway. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
      5. The speed limit in a residential area is:\n
          \n
        1. 35 MPH. <\/li>\n
        2. 25 MPH. <\/li>\n
        3. 45 MPH. <\/li>\n
        4. I paid $65,000 for this car, I’ll drive as fast as I want. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
        5. In California, when a pedestrian enters a cross walk, you should:\n
            \n
          1. slow to a walking pace. <\/li>\n
          2. go around the block. <\/li>\n
          3. stop. <\/li>\n
          4. speed up and honk your horn. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
          5. In the other 49 states, when a pedestrian enters a cross walk, you should:\n
              \n
            1. maintain your speed. <\/li>\n
            2. slow a little. <\/li>\n
            3. slow a lot. <\/li>\n
            4. speed up and don’t bother honking your horn. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
            5. Your may make a left turn from the right lane:\n
                \n
              1. never. <\/li>\n
              2. when there is a left turn arrow. <\/li>\n
              3. on Sunday at 2 A.M. <\/li>\n
              4. When ever you damn well feel like it. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
              5. When a school bus has flashing red lights, you:\n
                  \n
                1. must stop. <\/li>\n
                2. may pass on the left after checking. <\/li>\n
                3. may pass after slowing to 5 MPH. <\/li>\n
                4. use your car phone to order Chinese food while passing on the left. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
                5. When you hear an emergency vehicle siren, you should:\n
                    \n
                  1. pull to the right and stop. <\/li>\n
                  2. pull into the nearest car wash. <\/li>\n
                  3. roll down your windows. <\/li>\n
                  4. turn up the radio and ignore it. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
                  5. You may make a U-turn in front of a fire station:\n
                      \n
                    1. never. <\/li>\n
                    2. when the doors are closed. <\/li>\n
                    3. if there are no police around. <\/li>\n
                    4. when you have missed your turn. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
                    5. When approaching a traffic light where cars are stopped, you should:\n
                        \n
                      1. relax. <\/li>\n
                      2. watch the signal. <\/li>\n
                      3. stop a safe distance back from the car in front. <\/li>\n
                      4. call anyone – even directory assistance – on your car phone so everyone can see that you have a car phone. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
                      5. When turning onto a side street, you should signal:\n
                          \n
                        1. two blocks before turning. <\/li>\n
                        2. two car lengths before turning. <\/li>\n
                        3. two miles before turning. <\/li>\n
                        4. what for, if the guy behind me hits me, I’ll sue him. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
                        5. A U-turn in a business district is legal:\n
                            \n
                          1. only at an intersection. <\/li>\n
                          2. always. <\/li>\n
                          3. never. <\/li>\n
                          4. if I pass a sale at the jewelers. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
                          5. Parking in a red-zone is permitted:\n
                              \n
                            1. never. <\/li>\n
                            2. on Sunday. <\/li>\n
                            3. if there is a fire hydrant. <\/li>\n
                            4. when I’ll only be there for five minutes. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
                            5. What is your annual gross income:\n
                                \n
                              1. $10,000-20,000. <\/li>\n
                              2. $20,000-40,000. <\/li>\n
                              3. $40,000-80,000. <\/li>\n
                              4. $80,000 and up.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                                Scoring:<\/p>\n

                                If you answered ‘d’ on every question, you have a perfect score. You are certified to drive a Mercedes Benz Automobile. You may, at your discretion, proceed to your nearest Mercedes Benz authorized distributor and select the Mercedes Benz Automobile of your choice. <\/p>\n

                                If you answered a, b, or c on two or fewer questions, you may request a retest in two weeks time. Please study the Mercedes Benz motor vehicle guide in preparation for your retest. <\/p>\n

                                If you answered a, b, or c on more than two questions, we’re sorry, you just don’t have the proper attitude to be a Mercedes Benz Automobile driver. Perhaps you should consider a BMW.<\/p>\n

                                Thank you for your interest in Mercedes Benz Automobiles.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                                Before changing lanes you should: signal. check. both a & b. just swing into the lane without doing either a or b. The top light on a traffic signal is: red. yellow. green. Who cares, it doesn’t apply to me anyway. The speed limit in a residential area is: 35 MPH. 25 MPH. 45 MPH. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[318,997,1224],"class_list":["post-408","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-car","tag-cars","tag-mercedes-benz","tag-quiz"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/408","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=408"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/408\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=408"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=408"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=408"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}