{"id":4063,"date":"2015-03-01T11:47:07","date_gmt":"2015-03-01T09:47:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4063"},"modified":"2015-03-01T11:47:07","modified_gmt":"2015-03-01T09:47:07","slug":"things-to-think-about","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4063","title":{"rendered":"Things to Think About"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?<\/li>\n<li>If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren\u2019t people from Holland called Holes?<\/li>\n<li>If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philip\u2019s screwdriver?<\/li>\n<li>If a pig loses it\u2019s voice, is it disgruntled?<\/li>\n<li>If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?<\/li>\n<li>When someone asks you, \u201cA penny for your thoughts\u201d and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?<\/li>\n<li>Why is the man who invest all your money called a broker?<\/li>\n<li>Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It\u2019s just stale bread to begin with.<\/li>\n<li>When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?<\/li>\n<li>Why is a person who plays the piano call a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?<\/li>\n<li>Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite things?<\/li>\n<li>If horrific mean to make horrible, doesn\u2019t terrific mean to make terrible?<\/li>\n<li>Why isn\u2019t 11 pronounced onety-one?<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI am.\u201d is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.<\/li>\n<li>Could it be that \u201cI do.\u201d is the longest sentence?<\/li>\n<li>If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, doesn\u2019t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?<\/li>\n<li>Do Roman paramedics refer to IV\u2019s as 4\u2019s?<\/li>\n<li>Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you will have to touch it to be sure?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren\u2019t people from Holland called Holes? If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philip\u2019s screwdriver? If a pig loses it\u2019s voice, is it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[1461],"class_list":["post-4063","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-word-play","tag-trivia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4063","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4063"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4063\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}