{"id":4059,"date":"2015-03-01T11:45:16","date_gmt":"2015-03-01T09:45:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4059"},"modified":"2015-03-01T11:45:16","modified_gmt":"2015-03-01T09:45:16","slug":"lets-have-male-and-female-nouns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4059","title":{"rendered":"Let&#8217;s Have Male and Female Nouns"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It has often been suggested that English should have male and female nouns. Here are a few candidates for consideration as useful male and female nouns:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<p><li>Swiss Army Knife<br \/>\n<b>Male<\/b> &#8211; because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Kidneys<br \/>\n<b>Female<\/b> &#8211; because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Penlight<br \/>\n<b>Male<\/b> &#8211; because it can be turned on very easily, but isn&#8217;t very bright.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Tire<br \/>\n<b>Male<\/b> &#8211; because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Hot Air Balloon<br \/>\n<b>Male<\/b> &#8211; because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it&#8230; and, of course, there&#8217;s the hot air part.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Sponges<br \/>\n<b>Female<\/b> &#8211; because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Web Page<br \/>\n<b>Female<\/b> &#8211; because it is always getting hit on.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Shoe<br \/>\n<b>Male<\/b> &#8211; because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Copier<br \/>\n<b>Female<\/b> &#8211; because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Also, because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Also, because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Ziploc Bags<br \/>\n<b>Male<\/b> &#8211; because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Subway<br \/>\n<b>Male<\/b> &#8211; because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Hourglass<br \/>\n<b>Female<\/b> &#8211; because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Hammer<br \/>\n<b>Male<\/b> &#8211; because it hasn&#8217;t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it&#8217;s handy to have around and it&#8217;s good for killing bugs.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It has often been suggested that English should have male and female nouns. Here are a few candidates for consideration as useful male and female nouns: Swiss Army Knife Male &#8211; because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles. Kidneys Female &#8211; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[1078],"class_list":["post-4059","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-word-play","tag-nouns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4059","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4059"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4059\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4059"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4059"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4059"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}