Applications are invited for the position of Departmental Brown Nose.<\/p>\n
Position Description:<\/strong><\/p>\n It is common practice in the computing industry for senior members of staff to have their planning strategies subject to positive evaluation. This is commonly referred to outside the industry as ‘being sucked up to’. This practice is typically performed by a person of low or irrelevant technical standing wishing to distinguish themselves by their presence and input at meetings for which they have a minimal or no understanding. Complimenting and Agreeing with senior staff and their poorly thought-out plans is the typical implementation of this position. The position is typically advertised under a job-pseudonym and regraded without notification by other members of staff, usually at a departmental social function to which the applicant is not invited.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Position Requirements<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n Position Future<\/strong><\/p>\n The future of the position is similar in an least one respect to the senior staff member reported to, in that it is ‘open-ended’. It is dependent entirely upon performance, but a successful applicant might expect salary increases for no appreciable performance improvement, several extra important-sounding position titles, and business cards to reflect the multitude of managerial positions that they will assume.<\/p>\n The salary scale is expected to be within the range of ludicrously-overpaid to how-do-they-get-away-with-this?<\/p>\n Applications should be made on the toilet paper assigned and be accompanied by the applicants CV (which should detail only the applicants name and address) and a 2 page essay on why this advertisement was exceptionally well written and how we appoint such exceptional personel officers.<\/p>\n\n
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\nHoming skills allowing the applicant to orbit senior staff and thereby avoid the unlikely event of having to produce work output.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n