{"id":4045,"date":"2015-02-28T13:31:36","date_gmt":"2015-02-28T11:31:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4045"},"modified":"2015-02-28T13:31:36","modified_gmt":"2015-02-28T11:31:36","slug":"life-as-an-american","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4045","title":{"rendered":"Life as an American&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won&#8217;t cross the street to vote in a national election.<\/li>\n<li>We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off.<\/li>\n<li>We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving. And then we won&#8217;t buy a car if it can&#8217;t go over 100 miles an hour.<\/li>\n<li>We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues. But we mumble through half the words in the &#8220;Star Spangled Banner&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>We&#8217;ll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.<\/li>\n<li>We tie up our dogs while letting our sixteen year old kids run wild.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won&#8217;t cross the street to vote in a national election. We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[132],"class_list":["post-4045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","tag-americans"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4045","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4045"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4045\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4045"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4045"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4045"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}