{"id":402,"date":"2014-12-22T01:02:03","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T23:02:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=402"},"modified":"2014-12-22T01:02:03","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T23:02:03","slug":"his-and-hers-road-trip","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=402","title":{"rendered":"His and Hers Road Trip"},"content":{"rendered":"

HERS:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Pulls off at wrong exit.<\/li>\n
  2. Opens window<\/li>\n
  3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer<\/li>\n
  4. Arrives at destination presently.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    HIS:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one.<\/li>\n
    2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right.<\/li>\n
    3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.<\/li>\n
    4. Finally rolls down window.<\/li>\n
    5. Hocks a loogie.<\/li>\n
    6. Pulls up to a 7-11.<\/li>\n
    7. Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky.<\/li>\n
    8. Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway.<\/li>\n
    9. Gets back into car.<\/li>\n
    10. Farts.<\/li>\n
    11. After he closes the door.<\/li>\n
    12. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.<\/li>\n
    13. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was.<\/li>\n
    14. Almost hits a deer.<\/li>\n
    15. Curses the night.<\/li>\n
    16. Curses you.<\/li>\n
    17. Curses the large slurpee.<\/li>\n
    18. Stops by the side of the road.<\/li>\n
    19. Takes a leak.<\/li>\n
    20. Still taking a leak.<\/li>\n
    21. Almost done.<\/li>\n
    22. I think.<\/li>\n
    23. Returns to car.<\/li>\n
    24. Drives and fiddles with radio.<\/li>\n
    25. Yells at you for suggesting the map again.<\/li>\n
    26. Admits he didn’t want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister’s anyway.<\/li>\n
    27. He hates your sister.<\/li>\n
    28. Ever since she called him a pernicious weasel.<\/li>\n
    29. He had to look up pernicious.<\/li>\n
    30. Couldn’t find a dictionary.<\/li>\n
    31. Finally found a dictionary.<\/li>\n
    32. Couldn’t spell pernicious.<\/li>\n
    33. Seethes at the memory of it all<\/li>\n
    34. But she is laughing inside…<\/li>\n
    35. And of course you’re still lost.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      HERS: Pulls off at wrong exit. Opens window Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer Arrives at destination presently. HIS: Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case. Finally rolls down window. Hocks a loogie. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[548,700,1246],"class_list":["post-402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-car","tag-driving","tag-gender-difference","tag-relationship"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=402"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}