{"id":4015,"date":"2015-02-28T13:14:54","date_gmt":"2015-02-28T11:14:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=4015"},"modified":"2015-02-28T13:14:54","modified_gmt":"2015-02-28T11:14:54","slug":"hymns-of-the-lukewarm-church","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=4015","title":{"rendered":"Hymns of the Lukewarm Church"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The Lukewarm Church (God&#8217;s Frozen People) announces publication of &#8220;Church Songs,&#8221; whose title, according to the editor, was chosen because &#8220;We didn&#8217;t want to turn anybody off with threatening words that no one understands anymore like &#8216;worship&#8217; or &#8216;hymn.&#8217; People in today&#8217;s society get kind of uncomfortable with too much talk about things like commitment and dedication. They&#8217;d much rather have a religion that they can turn on or off at will. Our book seeks to meet that need.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Sample contents:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A Comfy Mattress Is Our God<\/li>\n<li>Joyful, Joyful, We Kinda Like Thee<\/li>\n<li>Above Average is Thy Faithfulness<\/li>\n<li>Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word<\/li>\n<li>All Hail the Influence of Jesus&#8217; Name<\/li>\n<li>My Hope is Built on Nothing Much<\/li>\n<li>Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound<\/li>\n<li>My Faith Looks Around for Thee<\/li>\n<li>Be Thou My Hobby<\/li>\n<li>O God, Our Enabler in Ages Past<\/li>\n<li>Blest Be the Tie That Doesn&#8217;t Cramp My Style<\/li>\n<li>Oh, for a Couple of Tongues to Sing<\/li>\n<li>He&#8217;s Quite a Bit to Me<\/li>\n<li>Oh, How I Like Jesus<\/li>\n<li>I Lay My Inappropriate Behaviors on Jesus<\/li>\n<li>Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me<\/li>\n<li>I Surrender Some<\/li>\n<li>Praise God from Whom All Affirmations Flow<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m Fairly Certain That My Redeemer Lives<\/li>\n<li>Self-Esteem to the World! The Lord is Come<\/li>\n<li>Sit Up, Sit Up for Jesus<\/li>\n<li>Special, Special, Special<\/li>\n<li>Spirit of the Living God, Fall Somewhere Near Me<\/li>\n<li>Stick Nearby, It&#8217;s Getting Dark Outside<\/li>\n<li>Take My Life and Let Me Be<\/li>\n<li>There is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today<\/li>\n<li>There Shall be Sprinkles of Blessings<\/li>\n<li>What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus<\/li>\n<li>When Peace, Like a Trickle&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>When the Saints Go Sneaking In<\/li>\n<li>Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following<\/li>\n<li>God of Taste, and God of Stories<\/li>\n<li>Lift Every Voice and Intellectualize<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Lukewarm Church (God&#8217;s Frozen People) announces publication of &#8220;Church Songs,&#8221; whose title, according to the editor, was chosen because &#8220;We didn&#8217;t want to turn anybody off with threatening words that no one understands anymore like &#8216;worship&#8217; or &#8216;hymn.&#8217; People in today&#8217;s society get kind of uncomfortable with too much talk about things like commitment [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,55],"tags":[825],"class_list":["post-4015","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musics","category-spirit","tag-hymns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4015","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4015"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4015\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4015"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4015"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4015"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}