{"id":3995,"date":"2015-02-28T13:06:36","date_gmt":"2015-02-28T11:06:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3995"},"modified":"2015-02-28T13:06:36","modified_gmt":"2015-02-28T11:06:36","slug":"good-news-and-bad-news-for-a-pastor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3995","title":{"rendered":"Good News and Bad News for a Pastor"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>Good News: The Women&#8217;s Guild voted to send you a get-well card.<br \/>\nBad News: The vote passed by 31-30.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.<br \/>\nBad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.<br \/>\nBad News: The choir mutinied.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.<br \/>\nBad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.<br \/>\nBad News: You were on vacation.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.<br \/>\nBad News: It&#8217;s in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to &#8220;decorate&#8221; your house.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Good News: The Women&#8217;s Guild voted to send you a get-well card. Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it. Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[1072],"class_list":["post-3995","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spirit","tag-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3995","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3995"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3995\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3995"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3995"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3995"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}