{"id":3955,"date":"2015-02-22T15:05:22","date_gmt":"2015-02-22T13:05:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3955"},"modified":"2015-02-22T15:05:22","modified_gmt":"2015-02-22T13:05:22","slug":"doggie-funeral","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3955","title":{"rendered":"Doggie Funeral"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, &#8220;Father, the dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Father Patrick replied, &#8220;No, we cannot have services for an animal in the church, but there&#8217;s a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they&#8217;ll do something for the animal.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Muldoon said &#8220;I&#8217;ll go right now. Do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Father Patrick asked, &#8220;Why didn&#8217;t you tell me the dog was Catholic?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, &#8220;Father, the dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?&#8221; Father Patrick replied, &#8220;No, we cannot have services for an animal [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,55],"tags":[688],"class_list":["post-3955","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dogs","category-spirit","tag-funeral"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3955","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3955"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3955\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3955"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3955"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3955"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}