{"id":3939,"date":"2015-02-22T14:57:18","date_gmt":"2015-02-22T12:57:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3939"},"modified":"2015-02-22T14:57:18","modified_gmt":"2015-02-22T12:57:18","slug":"fundamentally-christian-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3939","title":{"rendered":"Fundamentally Christian Dog"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping.<\/p>\n<p>At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot.  When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course).<\/p>\n<p>That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little.<\/p>\n<p>The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn&#8217;t thought about &#8220;normal&#8221; tricks.<\/p>\n<p>Well, they said, &#8220;let&#8217;s try this out.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command,  &#8220;Heel!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man&#8217;s forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,55],"tags":[686],"class_list":["post-3939","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dogs","category-spirit","tag-fundamentalist"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3939","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3939"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3939\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3939"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3939"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3939"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}